. . . tell us about your secret collaboration with Rook.
Oh, it's not secret anymore. We're calling it Evolution Lounge or Club Evolution, depending on what Rook feels like that day. He's the money and the style, I'm the science and the production.
You're saying that you've started a nightclub?
It's different things to different people. For Rook, it's a showcase for tomorrow's style. For me, it's a platform for research.
Are you doing research on the club-goers?
Of course not, that's unethical.
Then what do you mean by 'research platform' and why would you open it up to the public?
We would open it up to the public to make money, for one thing. Fashion and research are two things that do not grow on trees. While Rook has a very profitable line of work, the day-in and day-out operations of science are not very exciting and do not garner as much adoration or dollars as being a super-model does.
What I mean by 'research platform' is that it is a place from which I will conduct experiments and lead expeditions. It's a lot safer in a lot of ways than my office in Ann Arbor.
The club is in another spacetime bulge, another dimension, which is attached to the one in which we live. That makes Evolution Lounge a pocket universe. I specially designed this one, however, to contact other dimensions beyond even our own, and that makes it a hybrid bulge.
So, altogether, Evolution Lounge is a P-H-B, a pocket hybrid bulge.
'Research platform'?
Absolutely. Club Evolution will be the staging ground for the first Ultranaut extravaganzas! The Ultranauts - it's just a moniker I came up with, we'll have to see if the stars like the name - are the focus of my research.
Right, the idea is that I can have them perform, and while they're performing, I'll leak in dimensional - er, I mean, measurable - elements from other dimensions, and measure how those elements from other dimensions interact with their quantum powers.
I have to apologize. Negotiating all this lingo is pretty hard to do. Can I take a moment to clarify?
Only if you also tell us who the Ultranauts are.
Of course! Right away! Tess Turbo and Psychopomp.
That's an amazing combination of rock with punk sensibility and senseless punk rock.
I wouldn't actually call any of it sensible, I think that's against Tess's religion or something. Har!
I wonder if she's listening? And Psychopomp is, I understand, a death metal musician. He's not a punkist, or whatever. And novox is old hat now.
Death metal is even older.
Not when you hear Pomp play.
That's not to say that if the right Novox singer showed up, I wouldn't want to put him or her into the mix.
Can you understand how big this is? This is the first time - ever! - that there will have been a musical performance, by Earthlings, in another bulge! This is history! I don't see how any self-respecting novox performer could resist.
But you don't have a singer?
Tess is a great sing- er, vocalist. Psychopomp is also very capable. He's mastered a range of styles, actually, from singing to hollering.
As demonstrated on his most recent cd, Voice of the Dead.
That's actually just a bootleg of his work at the Memorial Concert in 2008. There's no authorized reproduction of that concert out there, not that I know of. But I don't think he cares. He just doesn't make any money of it. And I could be wrong about all of this, I don't know how the biz, as they say, works.
And before you forget me, don't! For some shows, I play. I'm actually quite good. I was ranked third in the world on sousaphone last year. This year I'm shooting for number one. It's a hobby.
You won't be playing sousaphone in the Ultranauts, will you?
No, most of the time I'll be running experiments. And when I do play rock music, I like bass parts. The basslines on the last four tracks of Voice of the Dead? That's me.
Seriously?
Seriously.
You're like a virtuoso!
No, I'm a scientist.
For the record, I want to add that I was actively trying to keep him from manipulating those Michaelite protesters. That's why it seems like the bass is in conflict with the guitar on those tracks - because it is! I failed in that regard, but we did make a really nice composition from our little duel.
Actually he probably didn't realize I was dueling him. I couldn't cancel out his powers. Psychopomp and I haven't always agreed, but his abilities and his musical talent have made him very important to the success of my research.
Truthfully, I enjoyed the occasion to exercise my bass skills. There's something about the pacing of bass guitar parts that lets me focus on the vibrations of the strings and, I don't know, it makes it easier to do the calculations, and get my groove on.
Getting your groove on.
Speaking of which, I was going to talk about terminology?
It's very important! So to understand this, you've got to understand only two words. "Bulge" and "dimension."
Most people say, "dimension," and they literally mean another universe. Technically what the term for this - another universe - is, is "bulge." Because all a universe is, is a "bulge" in the fabric of spacetime.
When I say, "dimension," I mean only an axis of measurement, like length, height, or breadth. Across all the universes, there are infinite means of measurement, but there are only so many in any given bulge. So in the bulge that we all call home, there are twenty-three, but only three that we can usually experience. This is fine, actually, because our brains didn't evolve to accommodate that much data! You or I would go insane if we could, even for an instant, glimpse any given object in its dimensional fullness.
In all 23 of its dimensions?
Yes.
I was about to say that any given object can be measured in infinite ways, but that's not true, because any given object is native to only the bulge it came from, and cannot actually exist in other bulges with other sets of measurements.
The big point is that Evolution Lounge is a bulge, not in the fabric of spacetime, but in the bulge in the fabric of spacetime that is our universe.
It's a bulge on a bulge?
It's a bulge on a bulge. Our universe is independent. It's expanding and contracting on its own. Evolution Lounge is a separate universe from this one, but it's beginning and end are linked to this one. It's like our universe had a baby.
That would make me the midwife.
And the father?
And the father.
And the godfather?
Don't be silly. Oh, that's Rook.
But, yes, that's my nova power.
You're a nova?
This is news?
I'm joking. Not everyone knows that you're a nova.
Sorry to disappoint. I have a prominent M-R node.
What's your nova power?
I create universes?
So you've done this before?
Yes. I've made many universes.
So you're like a god?
No. Usually, the second someone interjects that word into a discussion like this, it goes downhill. I haven't shied away from the word, "god," in the past, but it's really unfair to compare me, or anyone who might be able to accomplish this kind of work, to a god. It's not being a god, so, please, let's move on before I begin getting hate mail.
So you're like a creator?
That I am.
You've fathered all these dimensions?
In a manner of speaking, yes.
So you've cheated on our universe?
What, no - oh, I get it. Father, mother, baby universe. No, I've never cheated on this universe. All the universes I've ever created are pocket bulges. It's impossible for someone in this bulge to create an entirely independent bulge.
And people from this universe can't go to other universes?
No, never. Well, there could be some exceptions. Me. Divis Mal, maybe. I imagine he's powerful enough. I'm not that powerful, not at all, but I am peculiar.
How does that work?
I think there's a certain amount of quantum integrity that's required to do it. I'd venture to say that I could actually exist in another universe because I might - this is only theory - actually be my own universe.
You can stop there. My brain is already bleeding.
Har! The point is that Evolution Lounge is a part of this universe, but it's not.
And why should people go there?
Evolution Lounge is where normal people are novas, where novas are normal people. It's a fantasy land.
How many dimensions can you experience at Evolution Lounge?
Depends on the night, on the theme, who's playing, and Rook's mood.
Remember how I said that there are really only three dimensions in this universe that people get to experience? In Evolution Lounge, depending on the theme, you can actually extend your senses in up to six dimensions. And I promise it won't drive you insane.
Well, that's got to be it for now. Nice having you, Gordian.
Nice talking to you, too.
When does the Evolution Lounge open?
Soon! It will be highly publicized, so don't worry, everyone will know!
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